Thread regarding Xerox Corp. layoffs

Zerox, An Agile, Dynamic Company Able To Respond To Any Challenge By Laying Off Half Of Staff

Zerox, An Agile, Dynamic Company Able To Respond To Any Challenge By Laying Off Half Of Staff

NORWALK, CT - Calling his employees a lean, dynamic, versatile team capable of being fired at a moment’s notice, Zerox CEO Vohn Jisentin described his technology firm Zerox as an agile company able to respond to any challenge by laying off half of its staff.

“Our industry is always evolving, but what makes us resilient is our ability to adjust to change, which is invariably done by cutting 50% of our workforce to eliminate costs regardless of the problem,” said Jisentin, adding that the keys to a successful business in today’s market was creating a corporate culture of cutting good, qualified people with a variety of skills while constantly finding innovative ways to throw a wrench into everyone’s workflow.

“When we encounter an obstacle, we don’t go down without a fight against our most experienced, senior workers. We look everyone in the eye and say, ‘The 20 of you who still work here will push on.’

Whether axing labor costs during a product development cycle or slashing sales headcount when sales numbers are down, we react to problems quickly and without the input of those of us with a better, more nuanced understanding of how things work.”

Jisentin also added that another advantage demonstrated by his company is its ability to increase executive salaries during times of crisis.

by
| 1671 views | | 5 replies (last May 15, 2019) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+Z2g8VEn

5 replies (most recent on top)

That’s how us Zeriods roll!

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @2mme+Z2g8VEn

You could at least spell Xerox the right way if you’re going to rip something off

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1dds+Z2g8VEn

https://local.theonion.com/agile-dynamic-company-able-to-respond-to-any-challenge-1834644833

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1qho+Z2g8VEn

I really needed a laugh. Thank you!

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1zoj+Z2g8VEn

Nicely worded satire.

Thumbs up.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @cwg+Z2g8VEn

Post a reply

: