(Hooksett, NH) AP- Employees at a New England location of the recently beleaguered GE corporation have been reporting the influx of abnormally sized rats. Reports from employees speaking anonymously, have the annoying creatures infiltrating several levels of the organization, in both salaried and hourly employment roles, with the most recent infestation originating from Evendale, Ohio.
Support functions in the Aviation facility have also been affected, such as the internal support repair area at the level of facilitator, which has proven to be spreading maladies effecting morale and spawning mood disorders. The root cause of this production effecting event is still being investigated, however initial evidence points to a long-term ambivalence, and incompetence of the managerial staff, and their corporate mentors, that has been highlighted in recent months in the downturn of GE as a whole.
The premature and hurried departure of Jeff Immelt, former CEO of GE, brought media attention to the 125 year old company's failed business model and financial practices that have resulted in the rapidly plummeting stock value, and dividend reduction. Investigators speaking on the condition of anonymity, have said that there is plenty of evidence pointing to Immelt and other former executives involving financial malfeasance, insider trading, and stock manipulation. One source was quoted as saying, "We really haven't seen this level of greed and fraud since the fall of Enron." They went on to add, "You really can't begin to understand the level of disappointment and anger both the investors and employees are feeling right now, he (Immelt) really hurt these people's financial futures."
At the local level, employees at the Hooksett location have expressed amazement at the size and activity level of the over sized vermin. "Yeah....we've always had normal sized rats running around here, and we just kinda deal with 'em, yeah we'd have to kick 'em once in a while, but I ain't ever seen 'em this big." was part of a conversation with one of the senior hourly operators. Another employee was reported as saying, "We really don't know how to handle these new, bigger rats, they just won't fit into the normal traps, and their metabolism processes the poison with no problem. The bigger rats have started to protect the smaller ones." Yet another employee said, "We've been talking bout trying to round them up into one barrel...when they are done feeding on each other we might have a huge rat to deal with, but it will be just one." Many have reported that with the up-coming cuts, several older rats have simply begun to jump ship. "They are just too old to put up a fight anymore."
The Hooksett management has been fighting off as many as three organizing drives by three separate unions in the past year. Some say the unions are a front for an exterminator company, but details are not available to confirm this. What can be confirmed is the unions have effected the rats, resulting in more scurrying, rapid eye and nose movement, and involuntary defecation. One union organizer passing handbills said, "Yep, it's all about self preservation for the bastards (rats) now."
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