Fact is, there will be zero redundancies as that would create undo stress for those impacted and those left behind.
At present, The Cisco Response Appropriately & Passionately team (aka CRAP, a cross-functional team spanning HR, Workplace Resources, and Advanced Services) has identified a form of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) prevalent at Cisco among previously and currently employed Cisco family members. At Cisco, HR likes to apply CRAP to the wounds of those impacted to better understand how we can improve our CRAP- it's a continuous improvement program of sorts. By better understanding the root cause of Cisco PTSD, we can better mitigate the causes and reduce mental health support costs.
Whilst we are in the midst of our analysis, we've been able to extrapolate a few items from our initial dataset. Those impacted with Cisco PTSD share the following characteristics:
1) grade 11 & above (sr director and above generally exempt)
2) age greater than 40
3) function = SP sales, engineering, business development, PSS, services overlay, operations, finance
4) Species- Males of European and Indian (sub-continent) descent. Herein lies one of the interesting dichotomies in the data as the Males of European descent (Americana variants in particular) seem to control executive leadership at Cisco.
4) Cisco Employees with over 15 years experience, exude a tendency to seek out others with similar tenure for bonding and comfort experiences as they oft times view themselves as "survivors" which can complicate treatment because they are still employed but are not sure for how long- similar to trench war participants in Verdun.
Oddly, during cognitive memory tests, we show short term memory failing (perhaps due to alcohol abuse and/or other external factors) yet long term memory is very crisp back to 2001.
For brevity, I'll need to stop here. There are other observations for "those left behind"which require various forms of treatment to keep them productive in the face of cisco beats (aka cisco beatings, mala beats, etc) and the ever present threat of 1:1 meetings with ones supervisor on short notice.
Until we figure this out, please note that all layoffs will henceforth cease until later this year.
This is a repost, someone else wrote it, too lazy to find the link. Have fun. Use sunscreen.