Thread regarding Xerox Corp. layoffs

Xerox layoff survival guide:

Learn from us ninja-experts that have already gone through what Xerox is putting you guys through as it gradually replaces each of you domestic counterparts with very cheap offshore workers.

  1. Don't write any code comments, or if you do, don't explain how things work – this should be easy

  2. Create silos of local work groups and work face to face… Provide no email on how/what you've done.

  3. If overseas teams ask you how to do things, give a quick and broad brush overview, no details are to be provided.

  4. Write more complicated code that is difficult to understand, provided it does not affect the underlying performance/reliability.

  5. Don't write complete design documents. IF you write design documents, write enough to get management to think it's done, but not enough for engineers offshore to do anything useful with it.

  6. Occasionally, take a vacation day off on short notice, and let things just "blow up" after you hand off your work to offshore teams. When you come back and things are completely not working, send lots of email about what a terrible job people have done...

  7. Always blame problems on offshore teams, no matter how small. 8. Always blame the reason why you problems can't be fixed earlier is because there is a 15+hour timezone difference between headquarters and those remote offices.

  8. Hold meetings at times that is convenient for you but in the middle of the night for those offshore teams.

  9. Make sure your meetings you conduct locally are as efficient as possible and make your local U.S. totally in sync and ahead of the work schedule before you even meet with the offshore team. That way, it makes them look incompetent.

  10. The best meetings are the ones held at 5:00pm PST on Friday, since that will be Saturday overseas, so the ones that most won't show up.And the ones that do show up, end up having to take time off their personal schedule to do it...Make sure this is a reoccurring weekly meeting...

  11. At the last minute, reschedule those meetings for the next week (but continue to meet locally and carry on your business).

  12. Make sure you send out a meeting notes to senior management, indicating who attended and more importantly, who didn't attend...

  13. When someone screws up overseas, always make sure you take the initiative to fix the problem, and make sure you send out 5+ emails telling management how you fixed the problem, describing in extreme detail how things got so screwed up and how you fixed it. And most importantly, if you're going down, you might as well create as much havoc internally inside the company as possible. Nothing is worse more than a company has so much internal conflict that efficiency and productivity comes to a halt..It's 10x worse than any sort of external competition....

And that's the predicament corporations and will put the company in when it starts trying to just save on "cost" by offshoring....

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| 2931 views | | 4 replies (last May 26, 2016) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+H8MXdSj

4 replies (most recent on top)

Excellent 13 point list. Remember, Ursula created this environment to up her own income at the expense of the "little people". Also remember this is the state of crony capitalism. Ursula wasn't seated next to Michelle Obama at the Inaguration or protected during the current split up -- this is all about screwing the little guy for the benefit of the elite. And don't ever forget the offshore guys have been allying with those elites to screw you too.

I would add two more points:

  1. Make full use of American sports idioms during those meetings with the offshore scabs. We all know what "4th and 1", "hail Mary", "hit and run", etc mran. The offshore guys have no clue.

  2. Make sure state variables (especially on "case"-like statements) are NEVER documented outside the local group. This makes reverse engineering extremely hard.

Its war guys. Make 'em pay.

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Post ID: @smsg+H8MXdSj

@H8MXdSj-orv that's so true

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Post ID: @1njq+H8MXdSj

We unfortunate that the 1% is pitting us (99%) against each other, and we're falling for it. And this is happening across ethnicities, cultures, populations, countries! If the 99% could look out for each other exactly like the 1% (board of directors) look out for each other, the 1% wouldn't do this.

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Post ID: @orv+H8MXdSj

this happens with every other project and smart brains are used to it, things might suffer a week or so, but eventually people have got it back on track.. nobody is indispensable, so might as well be positive

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Post ID: @kve+H8MXdSj

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