What is Chevron doing to protect its offshore platforms from the Kraken?

Given that someone released the Kraken I'm curious how we would protect our platforms from the grasping tentacles of a pissed-off beast?

11 replies (most recent on top)

You didnt hear? The Kraken was lost in the ROM Alpha.

The Kraken is there on payroll, protecting the platforms from terrorists and pirates.

Endless PowerPoint slides, stop-work-authority, and weaponized Astroglide.

Both @1fem and @xiw provided genius and witty responses. Priceless. I'm here LMAO on the floor in tears.

Someone needs to tell the Bigfoot investigation team, I hear they are looking for a scapegoat, perhaps a Kraken was responsible.

That project is in CPDEP phase 2

The Kraken has opted for the package and will therefore be left standing.

We are having meetings about it and developing a process.

Hes famous for preparing for things that never happen and then blaming his engineers.

We've Femnazis posted on each platform. Those are tough creatures that can ward off Kraken and Kraken's granddaddy.

Ask that persecuting tit Jeff Theriot.