Fade in.
It was the last week of the fiscal year when the greedy overlords from the planet STAPLES decided they needed more tribute for the stockholders. In a bloodbath that lasted weeks they culled their beloved associates making it NOT a great place to work.
You write the next paragraph.
Trump enters starts talking, 'it's a HUGE disaster', 'I don't like the guy, that's just me but I'm not wrong', 'Rosie could run this place better and she's stupid', 'the board is stupider', 'what a joke'.....
You write the next paragraph.
The overlords continue with the mantra reorg for efficiency and spin speak assuming the natives will follow with loyalty. A few in code BROWN mode will but the rest are perplexed by the core values. When do they apply? To whom do they apply?
All of a sudden there is a loud voice, We hear words like stupid, a joke and nukes, it's getting closer, it's Donald Trump. Dramatic music.....
You all "Get back to bidness". Says the semi-literate dork.
One person who deserved a layoff finally got it. Joe Doody!!!!! Good riddance.
--Close-up shot of generic, suit-clad Overlord bearing striking resemblance to Hugo Weaving--
Because of YOU, pathetic lazy workers, because of YOU.....we are.....smaller, making sacrifices, "streamlining" so to speak. Like you, apparently, free.
BUT THEN....>dramatic music<
Otis is going to perform his best Morpheous (Lawrence Fishburne) impression:
"What if I told you We WANT retail to FAIL"
as Ron was snuggled in bed as stock options and bonus cash danced in his head
End song and dance sequence.
The Staples overlords would not admit the culling took place as they counted the tribute. Instead when questioned they pointed to a notice that made no mention of culling.
YOU write the next paragraph
Ain't nothing gonna hold me down... Oh no i got to keep on moving!