I agree with 204473. Please use your insurance while you have it to see a psychologist or a therapist. If you enjoy being abused and mistreated, you need professional help. Don't worry about any stigma. This is a very common psychological issue among people who have chosen to work under the sick culture of Qualcomm.
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Creepy!
If you were treated like $hit and you love it, just do a favor to yourself: utilize your existing insurance and go see a phsyphologist before your medical insurance expires.