haven't told my finance about my employment situation yet.. planned to get married maybe within the next few months.. so many uncertainties ahead.. sighhhhh
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also, nothing in life is ever certain.
To the original poster, please be honest with your fiancé. I'm a female and if my fiancé was laid off I would 100% be there for him, no problem postponing a wedding. If she isn't supportive, then she's not a good life partner. Warren Buffet said his best two investments of all time were his home and his wedding ring. A life partner is so much more important than any job. Jobs come and go. There will always be change in our lives and it's best to find someone who will stay by your side through thick and thin.
That being said, you also need to be a good partner and be honest. Men thing they have to be strong and never show weakness but she will appreciate you telling the truth. It's terrible when bad things like this happen but you'll also be showing who you are by how you handle it. Be the best version of yourself and the man you want to be for your fiance.
You will find another job, maybe even something better.
Like the first responder said, anyone can be a good spouse when times are good. Very few can be a good spouse when times are bad, especially is that period of bad time is extended period of time. Consider this a pretest for your fiance, to see how selfish or selfless she is. This layoff might save you a lot of pain and trouble in the future if it uncovers things you weren't expecting
Amen! (Anonymous155801) I am not in any of this, but just want to say that! Thanks for sharing and it's going to help many out there on life and perspective.
That guy is rite. Allah is looking out for you. Marriage in USA is a dangerous game. A woman can take EVERYTHING from a divorce from you. So your current situation will be a litmus test for her.
155801 Amen.brother!!!
Thank you for the great post.
Didn't you know, Indians marry on the heels of a person employed @ QC (even if a contractor)
Great reply, you don't know someones true character until you are in a crisis. You married a narcissist and your only mistake was expecting her to change based on marriage vows. I could extend the same analogy to Qualcomm. QC was a great partner when the money was rolling in. Now that the company is in crisis you realize they could care less about you and you realize you were duped. They fooled you into thinking you had a sacred vow with them but now that the money is off the table it is every man for himself. Let be honest, the execs will always be the last ones standing driving off into the sunset in Rancho Santa Fe when the doors are finally closed in sorrento valley.
OP, you are looking at this completely the wrong way. This layoff is a great thing to have happened for you (I am being serious!). Tell your fiance exactly what has happened and then observe how she reacts. If she ends up being extemely supportive of you, and even suggests perhaps that she's will to move wherever you may need to go, or that she doesn't mind to push out the wedding just for a couple of months, then you know she's a definite keeper. If, on the other hand, she ends up being a total bitch about it, and is extremely demanding on you finding a job, and worries excessively about "her" future, and isn't willing to compromise and be compassionate about your situation (like letting you sort through the job situation first), well then you definitely want to think twice about whether you want to commit the rest of your life to this person, since a lost job is the least of your worries out of all the things that can possibly go wrong in the future with your life. And trust me, I'm speaking from experience. You see, back awhile ago, I made a really foolish decision to move to San Diego to "settle down" with my then fiance here, because for whatever reasons she was in a rush to get married (not that I wasn't commited to her, I just thought that as odd why she would be in a rush)...That was despite me have no job prospects in SoCal, me giving up a lot of my career where I was, and me not generally liking the uncertainty of being jobless before getting married. The reaction was initially supportive. But then quickly escalated to her saying things liek"please take any job, no matter how shitty the job is, even if the job is completely insulting to you." or my favorite "No I'm not willing to move to where you need to go to find a job, because I don't want to give up any of my lifestyle down here" So there was a time when I was commuting 2.5 hours to downtown LA from San Diego both ways, albeit temporary, all which she (having that nice cushy job at the Q), was busy making wedding plans and wondering why I seemed to be so stressed out. Needless to say, I was able to find a great opportunity down in San Diego about 5 months later. after much stress and anxiety (partly, despite me making this shitty commute to L.A. all the time for work, my then fiance was still pissed off and unhappy that getting married was taking soon frickin long)...So eventually I moved down here, and my career was ok, and I did get married to this woman.. Absolutely the worst decision of my life...5 years later, when I went through unexpected health issues, she again, ends up being totally pissed off at me that my major health issue was causing a minor inconvenience for her ideal life. Needless to say, my marriage didn't last past a few months after that. My only regret? All the warning signs and red flags were there during the first unexpected life event of being jobless 5 years earlier. I should have taken that warning sign and ran away like the plague, but I ignored it...and consequently wasted about 6 years of my life on a stupid relationship, and aftermath of going through a divorce. The lesson I learned? Make sure then significant other really is serious about the part about "for richer or for poor, in sickness or in health"...because I found out the hard way, while many people go through the motion of saying that, very very few people actually mean it...And if you are blessed with an opportunity to test your fiance on that part, there shouldn't be any ugly surprises for you moving forward...So trust me, this layoff thing is a blessing for your particular situation...Because if your fiance ends up being a bitch about it, there are plenty of other women out there that wouldn't be.