Thread regarding Corinthian Colleges Inc. layoffs

G.W.Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid.

So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says: "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you."

She calls Tony Blair in and asks: "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds: "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen.

She hangs up and says: "See how that works George?"

"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

So, upon returning to Washington, G.W. calls Dick Cheney and says: "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Cheney says, "Wow, let me think about it and I'll get back to you."

So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says: "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Colin Powell says, "It's me, of course!"

So Cheney calls Bush and says: " I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell."

And Bush says: "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

You might really be a Republican if......

You asked a homeless man with no shoes to pull himself up by his bootstraps.

My favorite Republican joke (an oldie but a goodie): Dubya is in his big limo on a countryside road when suddenly: BAM!!! They hit something!

The driver gets out of the car to see what happened and comes back to make a report to W:"Mister President, i'm afraid we crushed a big hog who was crossing the road."

Seeing that there was a farm nearby, Dubya tells the driver to go there and explain the situation to the farmer.

Two hours later the driver comes back, all sweaty, with a big cigar in his mouth, a bottle of champagne in his hand and his clothes all messed-up!

Dubya asks:"What the hell happened?"

The driver answers: "Well sir, the farmer gave me a cigar, his wife gave me that bottle of champagne, and his 19 years old daughter gave me the time of my life!"

Dubya:"What?I don't understand! What the hell did you tell them?"

The driver: "All I said was: Hi! I'm George W Bush's driver and I killed the pig!"

Question--why should you always take two Republicans fishing with you?

Answer--If you take only one, he'll smoke all your pot, but if you take two, they won't smoke any.

"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times building."

• Ann Coulter

George W Bush and Condi Rice go fishing and find themselves on opposite sides of the lake. Condi yells over to George, "Hey, how do I get to the other side of the lake?" George yells back, "You are on the other side of the lake."

OP: Congratulations, you science-denying NASCARcissist, you're a walking refutation of the theories of evolution and intelligent design. WIN!

"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them." Mark Twain

"The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking." John Kenneth Galbraith

Conservative: A person who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.

Conservative: A person with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk forward.