SB is here with the latest “pattern recognition” insights, where he and the leadership team see “things we can’t see.” Apparently, they’re time-travelers of the corporate world, spotting a bright, shiny Xerox future... just a few years down the road.
Here’s the rundown:
- Pattern recognition: SB assures us that while Q3 fell short (again), we just need to “trust the process.” After all, they’ve got pattern recognition! They see the future, even if we mortals can’t. Apparently, reading quarterly results isn’t enough; we’re supposed to believe in “things unseen.”
- Non-linear, multi-year journey: translation? “Give us a few more years to get this right.” SB’s calling Reinvention “non-linear,” which sounds like Wall Street’s version of “keep dreaming, folks!” Non-linear is corporate speak for: we’re hoping things will work out... eventually.
- Blaming the elements: equipment sales? Blame the hurricane! Product delays? Global markets are just so competitive. It’s like Xerox is the corporate Goldilocks: conditions are never quite right. If it’s not the weather, it’s “external factors,” because surely it couldn’t be internal challenges, right?
Future-proof promises: SB’s putting everything big on 2025, folks. 2024? That’s just the warm-up! All those promised improvements and productivity gains are, of course, in the future, far enough away that we can’t really hold them to it... yet.
"We" vs. “I”: SB loves a good “we” statement, which spreads the responsibility like peanut butter on toast. It’s “we’re on the right track” and “we see improvement.” Guess that’s code for “don’t just look at me if things go South!”
So here we are, hanging onto the visionary guidance of Xerox’s time-traveling execs who can apparently spot a fabulous future, even if the rest of us are squinting to see it.
Until then, it’s all about faith... and hoping this “non-linear” journey doesn’t turn into an endless loop.