State Street leader: Due to inflation and cost of living…I can’t keep up with my wealthy lifestyle. My family desperately need a yacht!
Corporate drone: Master, you can increase your earnings by reducing the labor force. We can mandate workers to return to the office to experience a hostile environment…oops I meant ‘collaborative work environment’.
State Street leader: Yes, this will force them to quit and cause a labor shortage. We’ll be able to pump more H1-B1 workers into the company. H1-B1 workers will think they’re living the American Dream by working at the new office HQ, but we’ll pay them pennies muahaha!
Corporate drone: Master, our clients will be frustrated with our services with all the experience and knowledge that we're loosing. The bright side is getting rid of our existing U.S. employees is the least amount work required from State Street leadership.
State Street leaders: Very, well. I’ll talk about the Return To Office mandate in the next quarterly call. In the meantime, continue to overwork our U.S. employees. We need to trick them to train their offshore replacements on top of pressuring them to perform their regular duties. We’re not applying enough unnecessary stress on our U.S. employees. Make it obvious that they must work in the office and their replacements can work remotely. I can’t wait for my fat bonus when we eliminate all these jobs!
Corporate drone: Aye aye captain 🫡. May I have the honor to kiss your behind, now?