Down 9% on opening. Is the jig up at IBM? Will they hit the RA button to try and salvage this sinking ship?
13 replies (most recent on top)
@ey There were layoffs in mid-January
@ey they are coming
It is certainly weird we have not seen any layoffs in the US yet this year!
@e9 those 4k deserve it for not holding their leaders accountable
Meta and Microsoft have shown where USA technology companies are heading
https://finance.yahoo.com/economy/article/tech-job-market-woes-deepen-with-meta-layoffs-and-microsoft-buyouts-150901111.html
Meta is aiming for a 10% workforce reduction, BUT also closing the window on 6k worth of potential new hires. THAT is not a good sign
Microsoft just opened the volunteer window hoping to get a 7% reduction in workforce headcount.
SO what’s in store for IBM? The magic 8 ball says approx 4k worth of head count reduction in the USA. IBM said 2026 reductions would be similar to 2025. IBM spent 700m in 2025 and has taken a 300m charge already in 2026. Thus 400m remains and most likely be aimed at NA as that’s where the high cost legacy resides. ALSO note Microsoft has set the aim point at 7%. Given IBM’s NA head count of approx 52k (48k USA, and 5k Canada) the 4k aligns quite nicely with the 7%
No layoffs!
@af aren’t we all day traders if you really think about it
@av LOL, I can hear Gladys singing. (I wasn't sure anyone would get my reference.)
@ag here you go...
Midnight PIP to Armonk (Upskilled Edition)
L.A. billed too much for the man
(Too much for the man)
(But the execs still made it)
So he’s leaving with an “upskilling” plan
Oh, they said, “Just re-skill, align”
(“Be AI-first this time”)
While they optimize the spine
And “right-size” his line
He’s leaving (leaving)
On that midnight PIP to Armonk (low performer on a chart)
Hmm, yeah
Said he’s going back to find
(Back to rebrand)
Whatever’s left of peace of mind
(After “synergy” took its bite)
Oh, I’ll sit right by his side
(Through a Webex divide)
On that midnight PIP to Armonk
(With a smile they can’t hide)
I’d rather live off-grid and sane
Than “upskill” through another pain
(World, world)
(While they pivot buzzwords again)
He kept dreaming (dreaming)
That someday he’d scale like a star
(A cloud-native star—but benched where you are)
Till he found out the hard way
“Transformation” means you’re through
(Just a cost they can subdue)
So the partners flew in
With a “future-ready” deck
Said “leverage GenAI, do more with less”
Then they billed and cut the rest
He’s leaving (leaving)
On that midnight PIP to Armonk (reorg number nine)
Said he’s going back to find
A world without “optimize”
(Or a KPI for his life)
And I’ll be with him
(Off their dashboard lines)
On that midnight PIP to Armonk
All aboard (AI-first)
All aboard (cost burst)
“Upskill fast or you’ll be dispersed”
One more (reorg)
All aboard (encore)
“Client zero”—we’ve heard that before
My role (sunset)
His team (offset)
Their bonus? fully “on target,” you bet
Oh, they’re saying (saying)
“We’re future-ready now”
(Just ignore the layoffs somehow)
Hmm, yeah
“It’s a pivot, not a cut”
(Just your badge that’s getting shut)
I’d rather ride that midnight train
Than chant “synergy” again
(World, world)
(It’s theirs in the slides—ours in the end)
Yep, IBMers'll be on that midnight train to jobless, as sung by RA & the PIPs.
If you are not day trader, why do you care about stressful intraday price moves every day?
@a6 the writing is on the wall. Expect RA meetings / notices to start in early May 2026.
RA all but certain now