In an impressive, tireless display of destroying everything they touch, our great leaders are ready to announce their new “values”. I know that “we are open” no longer applies. Let’s predict how badly they’ll butcher them, plunging us ever faster toward a consultant-directed hellscape.
22 replies (most recent on top)
@kk no you didn’t. Stop spreading BS.
@ww confirmed. Started and some what finalized even before that first Fall RIF.
@ww fabulous, it’s a long history of fiscal irresponsibility then
This was started (and paid for) over 2 years ago.
@kk I call bullsh-t
@km Those guys have to leave their mark just like dogs....
Redoing the values (when the prior ones were just fine) is the nadir of a company. It’s the epitome of a management team that has nothing more substantive or compelling to offer… an utter waste of time, energy, and money. Pull the plug on Illumina. It will not be revived.
Just spoke to Francis, mentioned Roche buying us out
RIFs is another
Accountability is one
@dt 😂 so funny
@e3 Please share what they are. I need to laugh this WE.
@bq Heard over $2MM!
@e3 massive word salad by HR 😂
On the call right now. Such a joke.
“Innovation is in our protein”
Do whatever we can to make Illumina such a bargain that someone with a clue buys us
@c2 excellent, probably a few hundred grand in consulting fees to have chatGPT reword the values. Sounds like efficiency, discipline, and rigor.
It's mostly the same as the old values, reordered and refocused. The most significant changes are not a surprise, and may even be welcomed.
I wonder how much they spent on these new values
@a1 don’t forget that a team of very expensive consultants worked on this for a year!!! With our stocks money!!
New values:
- agility (to dodge accountability)
- efficiency (through elimination)
- growth (through acquisition)
- doing more with less, then more with even less (burnout builds character)
- culture of collaboration (out of necessity because no team is fully staffed)
- Sustainability (of executive bonuses)