This is a genuine question but what do they actually do outside of organize useless events and waste company money? We’re all on pins and needles hoping our boss doesn’t schedule a surprise 1 on 1, but they’re out there frolicking in the grass hiding Easter eggs for adults. Why are good people
who are tenured at this company routinely forced off this free-alcohol-laden ride so that recently graduated comms majors can throw sorority events?
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Yes.. they are making horse treats currently in Spring. You read that right, TREATS FOR HORSES.
8 days later and I STILL don’t know what CREWs does.
Dude these CREWS people act like they’re god’s given gift. We dgaf if the font in your presentation is bolded or italicized. These people don’t do any real work. They’re always chilling and giggling and leading every lame company event. Like OP said, they’re here to party. Last week they’re wearing bunny ears. Yes it’s ok to have company events but not if it takes weeks of planning (ppt presentations) and then “volunteers” to “set up” the area. How bout they just give us all an egg with a fu--ing bonus instead of giving us diabetes in the Texas sun. Firing them all would be a smart financial move but HP doesn’t think smart. Can’t wait to see how the Spring Fling goes. I’m sure they will need more volunteers to talk to and not work with. These parties need to end. I’m at work to work, not make friends with corporate robots.
You hit the nail right on the head lol. Might I add that they act like they know every company secret and practically panics when the CEO is nearby, demanding that everything is clean and out of the way. Literally throwing down the red carpet.
Oh and they overcharge for every little thing you request: $10K to move our add a few desks???! Could handled much more cheaper and more efficiently by CWs!
CREWS: Corporate Real Estate and Workplace Services... or the Office Social Club?
So, what exactly does CREWS do? Officially, they “manage our real estate and workplace services.” Unofficially? They’re the well-dressed party planners of corporate life. You'll spot them strolling the halls with a coffee in hand, asking how you're doing—just before jetting off to another "global site visit" (read: vacation with a corporate card).
They oversee everything from the cafeteria to the fancy office furniture... though word on the street is that JLL, their third-party sidekick, does most of the actual work. CREWS just gives the marching orders, then heads to whatever event they’re hosting next. Champagne in one hand, PowerPoint in the other (maybe).
Let’s talk vibes. Think high-end cars, first-class flights, and a wardrobe that screams, “I used to be on the fast track to the top, but now I curate vibes for a living.” They’re the corporate version of the college frat stars who peaked in undergrad but somehow landed executive titles. All charm, all connections, all the time.
And yes, they’re mostly VPs. Yes, they’re super friendly—until they’re not. Cross them and you might find your desk relocated to the loading dock. They're plugged in at levels most of us can’t even see, so it’s probably smart to laugh at their jokes, compliment their event themes, and never ask how much that last off-site cost.
Bottom line: CREWS may not run the company, but they sure know how to run the show.
What are crews?
I heard from a reliable source that entire org is getting WFR.
You guys never stop thinking about us. Sorry you don’t have the life and stability us CWs do.
With that said we don’t even get hired on that org because they are useless.
You know the only thing worse than an employee in CREWs? A CW in CREWs.
Be careful, they’re looking for a reason to go on a Crewsade
They plan the waffle parties for high performers
They do important and mysterious work please stop questioning them. Why are we asking for people to be fired?